Like when you are trying to hang that weird plastic stuff on your windows because it is supposed to help you keep your house warm and the plastic keeps clinging to you.
Or when you are trying to beat your husband's high score on the phone game "Dots" and have officially cramped your fingers into a permanent "index pointing" position only to realize your score is so low that it doesn't even make the board.
Or when you are trying to get the "perfect" sock bun that everyone says is so easy to do, yet somehow you are the only person in the world who's hair thinks it would look better as a 80's rock star sunburst.
Or when something becomes so overbearing and looming that the pressure makes your heart want to sink faster and more traumatically than the Titanic.
I know that writing is a form of therapy for many. It is a form of therapy for me. At times.
But there was a time that I needed to walk away. When the thought of writing yet another post about our continually postponed adoption made me feel like I was wrapped up in clinging plastic and stuck with my fingers in "index pointing" position. (Awkward picture, eh?)
So, in true form to how I do most anything that I am overwhelmed with...
I walked away.
Unannounced.
I didn't write, I didn't call, I didn't text...I kind of just shut down.
It is clearly not ideal and often quite hurtful to people that I am close with but who really wants to hang out with a girl with crazy hair wrapped up like a plastic mummy? Exactly.
In my time away, I turned 30. Which obviously made me much wiser and sound of mind. I had some time to reflect on this past year and all of the really incredible things that I DIDN'T write about. Yup. Thats right. Good things actually happened! I was just too consumed with our adoption to recognize it.
I realized that although our journey has been crazy and amazing and tons of people have wrapped their arms around us in support, prayer, and love...it is not the only thing going on in my life. And when I let it get to that...I felt smothered. I felt trapped. I felt exhausted.
Just like those people that ONLY EVER talk about their kids. We were ONLY EVER talking about our adoption. And we don't even have a kid yet! Yikes. Not cool, Andersons. Not cool.
So, now that we are both thirty, flirty, and thriving-ish? and clearly WAAAY wiser than we were 12 month ago...
We wanted to share a few moments that made this past year make us not want to walk away and shutdown from the world. Obviously, some adoption stuff is interweaved but hey, we can't just pretend it isn't happening!
Quick Recap:
~Began January with beginning our adoption from South Africa. Announced it with a pic of us through a pic of an iPhone. Classic.
~ Spent amazing times with friends on the sunny beaches of California. Should have taken advantage of that more (cough, -13 today, cough).
~ A visit from my beautiful friend Jenny, Erik's 30th birthday trip to Chicago for the Cubs Home Opener, and family visits out to California full of wine, golf, and blueberry picking.
~ Quality and amazing friendships made over the past 6 years because God brought us to California to begin our marriage, all of whom we have been unbelievably blessed by!
~A sad farewell to a trusty ole car that was stolen and stripped and towed to the salvage yard. RIP Green Machine.
~Dossier #2: finished.
~ Celebrated 5 years of laughing, loving, crying & adventuring by getting tattoos. We are so romantic.
~Finished up our year at Modesto Covenant with an incredible group of students, a crazy Adventure trip to somewhere in Nevada, and people who will forever be a part of our hearts. They packed up our apartment into a UHAUL in less than 2 hours. No joke. Rockstars.
~We moved. Like big time moved to Minnesota. God called, we answered. Our journey was epic. Still is.
~ Moved into a 1923 house that we love, started at a new church that we love, live in a city that we love. I mean...it's okay or whatever.
~ Travelled to Colorado for my cousin's wedding, spent quality time with the fam, and DANCED like I had the lead role in Footloose.
~Our nephew, Wells, was born and we are obsessed.
~Watching Bella walk in snow for the first time in her life. Hilarious.
~Enjoying being close to one of my favorite families in this entire nation/world, seeing family more often, cutting down our own Christmas trees, and exploring parts of the Midwest I've never seen before.
~ Siblings.
So here's to a new year, probably filled with a lot more adoption news than anyone ever wanted to know, but also filled with sweet moments outside of that which define our lives and bring us life.
I suppose sometimes walking away to gain perspective on all the good isn't so bad after all.
Cheers and Adios to 2013.
