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Blue Chalk and Love Notes :: Lessons from a 7 Year Old || 4 Months Post Adoption

We bought a new rug. Thanks to some welcome home gift cards and a giant, yet washable, stain on the upper right corner, we walked out of Kmart with a giant size piece of carpet for less than my Aldi grocery bill.

The basement had decidedly been quartered off to make a playroom for our girl, who has befriended most of the children on our street and hosts tea parties, art classes, and teaches school to unknowing 3 year olds.

My living room and my minor OCD were not surviving the traffic.

The finished product (on a minimal budget) made me and our girl proud and so with excitement I announced that she could have her "quiet time" in the basement in her new play room.
(We have a quiet time every day for 1 hour to refuel her engine and give her a bit of time to wind down. But let's be honest...it is really for me.)

I heard the pitter-patter of feet running up the stairs, far too early than previously agreed. As an excited 7-year old face peered around the corner I automatically knew. Some thing had gone terribly wrong.

"I have a VERY awesome gift for you, Mommy." Blink. Blink, blink, blink.

I slowly walked down the steps, eyes half open because she had requested me blindfolded - to which I met her with a compromise of no.

As I entered the quarter size playroom and looked down, I gasped. The brand new white/cream/beige carpet (should of seen that one coming) that had been so delicately placed in our child's playroom (again, really didn't seen this coming?) was covered, COVERED, in bright neon blue chalk.

It was like a Smurf crime scene.
Her pride soared.
My jaw dropped.

As I looked from the carpet to her face and back again, it was obvious that I was in shock. And her joy went from soaring to broken.

"What did you do?" I asked.

And in a quiet voice she said, "I wrote you a love note."

As I looked closer, I realized that all the lines and circles and shapes were not random. They were calculated. And designed with care.

I LUV U MOMMY! heart shape. heart shape. heart shape.
N J E F. (This is her sleek way of writing code for our family - Nosipho, Jessa, Erik, Family) heart shape. heart shape. heart shape.
LOOOOOOOVVVVVEEEEEEEE. heart shape. heart shape. heart shape.
Chicken shape. (I'm still not totally sure how this one fits into the love note, but I'm sure it will come to me in some divine revelation when she is 16. Or she just really loves chickens.)

I am no adoption expert. Not even close. But even the worst informed adoptive parent would know two things in this situation:

1. My response to this situation was absolutely horrible.
2. We are the luckiest people in the world.

Adoption is hard.
The waiting process is daunting, exhausting, and heart-breaking at times.
And when you finally cross over to the much anticipated moment of meeting the child you have prayed for, cried over, pursued, and worked so hard to bring home, there is a part of you that feels like you should be singing and dancing everyday.

I am amazed at how quickly that emotion fades. And how quickly I forget that this is the little girl that stole our hearts and set us on a life-changing path.

When your daughter is kicking, screaming, crying, and scratching for anything she can touch in the heat of a total breakdown because she doesn't know how to express her needs, you forget that there is a little person in there that is broken and hurting.

When your 7-year old is asking you to dress her every morning and carry her to bed every single night when you know she is capable of doing it and all you want is 5 minutes to finish eating your cold dinner, you forget that there is a child in there whose basic needs have never been met the way they needed to be.

And when your daughter, who you adopted only 4 months ago, gives you kisses and hugs everyday and writes love (did you hear that? LOVE) notes in your brand new carpet, you forget that it is nothing short of a miracle that this little child is your daughter. And that by the grace of God, she has been able to find small pieces of healing and little reasons to trust, despite the many, MULTIPLE (like on the daily) moments where we TOTALLY screw up this whole parenthood thing.

We eventually scrubbed out the blue chalk and the stain in the right hand corner of the carpet. The stain came out completely. But there are hints of blue all over the rug and I am thankful for that. Thankful for the reminder that mistakes along the way are often more beautiful than perfecting the process.

Hello 30, Goodbye '13.

Sometimes you need to walk away. Just walk away.
Like when you are trying to hang that weird plastic stuff on your windows because it is supposed to help you keep your house warm and the plastic keeps clinging to you.
Or when you are trying to beat your husband's high score on the phone game "Dots" and have officially cramped your fingers into a permanent "index pointing" position only to realize your score is so low that it doesn't even make the board.
Or when you are trying to get the "perfect" sock bun that everyone says is so easy to do, yet somehow you are the only person in the world who's hair thinks it would look better as a 80's rock star sunburst.

Or when something becomes so overbearing and looming that the pressure makes your heart want to sink faster and more traumatically than the Titanic.

I know that writing is a form of therapy for many. It is a form of therapy for me. At times.

But there was a time that I needed to walk away. When the thought of writing yet another post about our continually postponed adoption made me feel like I was wrapped up in clinging plastic and stuck with my fingers in "index pointing" position. (Awkward picture, eh?)

So, in true form to how I do most anything that I am overwhelmed with...
I walked away.
Unannounced.
I didn't write, I didn't call, I didn't text...I kind of just shut down.
It is clearly not ideal and often quite hurtful to people that I am close with but who really wants to hang out with a girl with crazy hair wrapped up like a plastic mummy? Exactly.

In my time away, I turned 30. Which obviously made me much wiser and sound of mind. I had some time to reflect on this past year and all of the really incredible things that I DIDN'T write about. Yup. Thats right. Good things actually happened! I was just too consumed with our adoption to recognize it.

I realized that although our journey has been crazy and amazing and tons of people have wrapped their arms around us in support, prayer, and love...it is not the only thing going on in my life. And when I let it get to that...I felt smothered. I felt trapped. I felt exhausted.

Just like those people that ONLY EVER talk about their kids. We were ONLY EVER talking about our adoption. And we don't even have a kid yet! Yikes. Not cool, Andersons. Not cool.

So, now that we are both thirty, flirty, and thriving-ish? and clearly WAAAY wiser than we were 12 month ago...
We wanted to share a few moments that made this past year make us not want to walk away and shutdown from the world. Obviously, some adoption stuff is interweaved but hey, we can't just pretend it isn't happening!

Quick Recap:

~Began January with beginning our adoption from South Africa. Announced it with a pic of us through a pic of an iPhone. Classic. 

~ Spent amazing times with friends on the sunny beaches of California. Should have taken advantage of that more (cough, -13 today, cough).

~ A visit from my beautiful friend Jenny, Erik's 30th birthday trip to Chicago for the Cubs Home Opener, and family visits out to California full of wine, golf, and blueberry picking.

~ Quality and amazing friendships made over the past 6 years because God brought us to California to begin our marriage, all of whom we have been unbelievably blessed by!

~A sad farewell to a trusty ole car that was stolen and stripped and towed to the salvage yard. RIP Green Machine.

~Dossier #2: finished. 

~ Celebrated 5 years of laughing, loving, crying & adventuring by getting tattoos. We are so romantic. 

~Finished up our year at Modesto Covenant with an incredible group of students, a crazy Adventure trip to somewhere in Nevada, and people who will forever be a part of our hearts. They packed up our apartment into a UHAUL in less than 2 hours. No joke. Rockstars.

~We moved. Like big time moved to Minnesota. God called, we answered. Our journey was epic. Still is. 

~ Moved into a 1923 house that we love, started at a new church that we love, live in a city that we love. I mean...it's okay or whatever.

~ Travelled to Colorado for my cousin's wedding, spent quality time with the fam, and DANCED like I had the lead role in Footloose.

~Our nephew, Wells, was born and we are obsessed. 

~Watching Bella walk in snow for the first time in her life. Hilarious. 

~Enjoying being close to one of my favorite families in this entire nation/world, seeing family more often, cutting down our own Christmas trees, and exploring parts of the Midwest I've never seen before. 

~ Siblings. 

So here's to a new year, probably filled with a lot more adoption news than anyone ever wanted to know, but also filled with sweet moments outside of that which define our lives and bring us life. 

I suppose sometimes walking away to gain perspective on all the good isn't so bad after all. 

Cheers and Adios to 2013. 

5.

I remember walking into a room full of people.

Welcomed by the screaming mouth of a stuffed bobcat head that hung over the futon, I sat down to hear stories from the infamous Erik Anderson.

I don't know if I was more scared of the bobcat or the sound of my rapidly beating heart...

But either way,

He had me at hello.

And he still gets me at hello.

Even after all these years.

Happy 5 years, Mr. Anderson.

I love you more than hello can say.

And I'm glad you don't still have the bobcat.

Happy.

For all of the 

lovebirds, 

best friends, 

families, 

future families, 

kiddos, 

neighbors, 

dreamers,

hopers,

wishers,

and warriors.

Happy Love Day. 

love, the andersons

Unto Us.

For today...yes today...

a child is born to us.

A son is given to us. 

The government will rest on his shoulders. 

And he will be called:

Wonderful Counselor. Mighty God. Everlasting Father. Prince of Peace.

With grateful and expectant hearts today, not just for what is to come but for what has come...

Merry Christmas indeed.

The Andersons

Remember (Thoughts from a Dad-To-Be)

As we wait for our lengthy US immigration process to finish, our “parent hearts” are achingly growing every second of each day. Our hope finds its fuel, comfort, and patience by remembering and being amazed by how God’s love has pursued Jessa and I. Every time I think about it I am overwhelmingly speechless. His love never grew tired, went to extremes, brought hope, didn’t flinch, and extended us an invitation to courageously go “all in” on this journey to adopt our child. So as our family story waits for the next chapter to be written (and I count the seconds to be called Dad for the first time), we stand with the God who audaciously loves us for who we are. 

We are Erik and Jessa Anderson.

“Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans” Isaiah 1:17

The Andersons and the Foothills

Ok. To be honest. It was awesome.

And no...we can't stop talking about how much we love each other so you will just have to be okay with expecting that a lot.

Here are a few of the highlights of our 24 hour journey to the wondrous foothills of the Sierras...

...everything from dancing and antiquing to President Anderson of Earth bringing the boys home...

Most of all, it was a perfect way to celebrate the love we have for each other and the crazy amounts of fun that we are still having...4 years and counting.

4.

4 years ago I married the most incredible man that I have ever known.

4 years ago we made a decision to love each other forever, no matter the circumstances, no matter the trials.

4 years ago each of us said "I do" to a journey that we didn't have a clue about.

4 years ago we buckled in for the ride of a lifetime.

4 years ago was the start to something incredible.

4 years ago may not seem like much to some, but it is everything to us.

4 years ago we had no idea that this life would bring us passions, desires, hardships, adventures, understandings, patience, trust, tears, and laughter that we had never known before.

4 years ago.

wow.

4 years ago seems like an eternity away.

But, 4 years ago today was the best day of my life.

Happy 4 years to my love. 

The Eve

So, yeah. It is a little early, but who is really counting?

In celebration of our 4 year anniversary, Erik went ahead and proved himself husband of the millennium...again!

To honor the path that we have walked, the adventures we have been on, and the passions that we have discovered, Erik made these incredible pictures for me and put them in frames.

In the words of Ben Folds (what up high school!!)...

I am the luckiest.

seriously.

that is not an exaggeration.

Threads of Our Journey

This is something that we have been looking forward to doing since we started this adoption...

And yes...this is the announcement that I was referring to in my previous post...so HOLD ON TO YOUR PANTS!!

And change your shirts?

Because we've got new ones for you to put on!!

We proudly introduce our first set of Love All Adoption T-shirts!!!!

This is a design that came from our hearts as not only a couple who is adopting, but a couple who believes deeply in the call to "Love All" through our ministry, words, actions, and lives. 

And so, as we walk this journey, we wanted to make something that would remind us constantly that it is not just about our adoption...

But about loving others through everything that we do!

So support our adoption and the call to "Love All"...

And buy a shirt!!! 

Fres-Yes and Fitzsimmons

All I have ever known of Fresno is that it doesn't have much to offer.

Well that is just not true.

Fresno? FRE-YES!

As a Christmas present to Erik, I bought him tickets to one of his favorite artists, William Fitzsimmons. As an added bonus...we got to take our great friend, Tom, with us!

We had an amazing time wandering the streets of the underwhelming yet still somewhat exhilarating Tower District while waiting for the doors to open for one of the most intimate and moving shows that I have seen in a long time.

And I couldn't have asked for a better crew to go with!

Top 10 Things I Have Learned from Erik...

1. The more you listen to 970 ESPN radio, the more you understand about every sport that has ever been played. Therefore, it should be on at all times.

2. Gum isn't good unless you chew 2 pieces at a time, more volume...more flavor.

3. Panda Express is not worth it.

4. Sweet Baby Ray's is good on anything.

5. There is no better feeling than jumping on a bandwagon before it becomes a bandwagon. 

6. You can always make it seem like you know what you are talking about, as long as you act like you know what you're talking about.

7. You are never too old to enjoy a good concert in the city...even if you have to stay up past midnight. 

8. Always appreciate a man who has a deeply rooted loyalty to a sports team...even if you don't like their team.  

9. Never give up on your passions, even if you loose track of time and get distracted by life. Your passions make you into the person that you are...so make time for them.

10. You can never encourage someone enough. Always have a truthful and kind word to share with the people around you. 

Bonus!!!!

11. Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, with all of your strength, and with all your mind...

And love others as yourself. 

The list could go on for days...seriously...he is a genius! 

But to keep it to a reasonable reading length, I will just say this...

Each day I am learning more about how to love and cherish my husband. And each day he teaches me something new through being the person he is and the man he is becoming. I don't think I give him enough credit for his wisdom, guidance, love, and direction.

So, today on your birthday, Erik, I want to say...

Thank you. Thank you for being so strong, so humble, so understanding, so patient, so loving, and so willing to journey this life with me. I am blessed by you each day. You make my life better each day. And I love you more and more each day. 

Wouldn't and couldn't do it without you. 

Happy Birthday!

2 Weeks Over...

Currently, I am sitting in a Starbucks somewhere around Sacramento...waiting for my sweet love to come home from 2 weeks away at Seminary.

Couldn't be more ready.

Happy Love!

Happy Love day!

I hope that you are feeling loved today no matter what stage of life you are in! Today is a great day to celebrate those around you who have loved you and walked through life with you!

So whether friends, siblings, parents, husbands, wives, boyfriends or girlfriends...

Go give someone a hug! :)

Or write a sweet note...

I promise. They will feel loved.

Daily Reminders

While Erik has been away...studying about the depth and goodness of God...experiencing mind and heart changing knowledge...spending hours in a basement room reading, learning, and listening...he has gently reminded me that his heart and mind are also filled with these thoughts...

Each of these pictures he made and sent to me to remind me of our journey and our joy. I have the best husband. Ever. 

28

Wow. 28. Really?

Although the years have passed quickly...I know that, Lord willing, I have so many more to look forward to.

In reflection of these past years, I honestly have to say that I feel so blessed. I have the most incredible husband in the world, the most encouraging and loyal friends, and family that supports and loves me through everything. I don't think there is anything that I could or would change.

So, if you are reading this and you are a part of my life...thank you. Thank you for all you have done to shape me, build me, encourage me, challenge me, and guide me into the person that I am today!

On that note..here is how I spent my 28th birthday! Enjoying my most favorite things in the world...my husband, my sweet pup, my camera, and the Lord's incredible creation!

I'm so grateful for a husband who understands just what I need on my birthday!

Dreams Really Do Come True

It has seriously been a month...a little more...since we got home from our trip to Ireland and I realized that I didn't say anything about it!

Well...I haven't said anything about anything really! :)

For the sake of not making people look through the exasperating number of pictures on Facebook...and in reflection of the trip of a lifetime...I have decided to make a little post about it!

(Also, in honor of Ellie Gundlach for being so patient with me putting pictures on my blog!)

So...here a few highlights from our trip!

First thing is first...our entire reason for the trip was to go and celebrate the wedding of my dear friend Emma and her now husband Yannic. We felt so honored to be a part of this incredible celebration of two of the most incredible people I have ever known. We made new friends with amazing people from Switzerland and spent some much needed soul time with old friends from many years ago! Honestly, we could have travelled the world and not found a better time anywhere else. It was such a blessing to be with all of these people, laughing, crying, reminiscing, and enjoying life!

 After our time at the wedding, we went into Belfast to see my old stomping grounds while in YWAM! This is the church that we lived at while we served. It was crazy how many flashbacks I had while walking up the street and back down to the City Centre...including walking down to the mailbox with the Teen Squad to mail a letter to Erik confessing my love for him! Wow...

 We also enjoyed some breakfast at Cafe Nero, including those delicious scones! My husband is so good looking!

From Belfast, we headed up to the North Coast! I think (as far as road tripping went) this was our favorite portion of the trip! We toured the Bushmills Whiskey Distillary...a dream come true for Erik...visited the Giant's Causeway...and stayed in Port Rush for an evening of GREAT food and beach walking! 

 From there, we travelled to the South and ventured into Galway! We spent one of the days driving through the Connemara National Park, which felt just like a storybook...or Lord of the Rings...

We stopped by the Kylemore Abbey....crazy beautiful...and the oldest Victorian garden in Ireland!

Our adventures continued and took us to the Cliffs of Moher, where I totally reenacted the beginning of Princess Bride! Ok...not really...but it was completely breathtaking...and super windy!

 We also got to meet up with some great friends of our from Modesto, Larry and Missy Stewart! We had lunch with them in Killarney and caught up on all of our adventures in travelling!

 On our last day in Ireland, we made a special stop at the K Club for Erik! Not only did we get to take in all the greatness of the golf course...but we got to see the Ryder Cup and the whole shrine of pictures that they have to commemorate the event and the golfers! It was like a little paradise for Erik!

Our last evening we stayed with my friend Tom outside of Dublin! He took us for an evening of fish and chips and a walk on the pier! It was the perfect way to end an incredible trip!

To sum it up....

Even these pictures can't tell the full story of our amazing journey! It was truly incredible!