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Showing posts with label Waiting Children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Waiting Children. Show all posts
Monday, March 30, 2015
Monday, April 7, 2014
Home.
We made it. It may have been a little over a week ago and it may be that I have been too tired to even think about posting on our blog...
But we made it. By the grace of God, we traveled over 9,000 miles, 23 hours, and 3 viewings of Frozen on the airplane to arrive back in Minnesota and into the arms of the people we love.
We have so much to be thankful for. We are figuring out this new life one step at a time, but praising God for His unending mercies, faithfulness, and grace.
Learning each day how to live and breath into our new role as parents.
There is a lot to write about, a lot to discover, and a lot of really hilarious things that (as parents) we probably shouldn't be laughing at. (We will be reporting all these missteps and adventures as soon as we have one solid night of uninterrupted sleep).
For now, here is a little glimpse into one of the most precious moments of our lives.
Thank you to all who have been praying, supporting, journeying through this adventure with us. We know that the hard part is just now starting, but are so thankful for the love we have been shown.
It is good to be home.
But we made it. By the grace of God, we traveled over 9,000 miles, 23 hours, and 3 viewings of Frozen on the airplane to arrive back in Minnesota and into the arms of the people we love.
We have so much to be thankful for. We are figuring out this new life one step at a time, but praising God for His unending mercies, faithfulness, and grace.
Learning each day how to live and breath into our new role as parents.
There is a lot to write about, a lot to discover, and a lot of really hilarious things that (as parents) we probably shouldn't be laughing at. (We will be reporting all these missteps and adventures as soon as we have one solid night of uninterrupted sleep).
For now, here is a little glimpse into one of the most precious moments of our lives.
Thank you to all who have been praying, supporting, journeying through this adventure with us. We know that the hard part is just now starting, but are so thankful for the love we have been shown.
It is good to be home.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
South Africa, Family of Three, and Katy Perry
My plan was to blog in South Africa during our adoption.
No one ever told me that having a 6 year old would not allow for that..easily.
Touche Parenthood. Touche.
But, in an effort to bring some news and updates to all of you, I decided to put down my obsession with Candy Crush (post bedtime), grab a glass of wine and go sit outside on the patio of someone's house to capture a few minutes of stolen internet! Boom. This is Africa.
The last 2+ weeks have been a complete whirlwind. I liken it to the part of the Wizard of Oz where Dorothy has not yet figured out that she is in a dream and a house just crushed a witch. Oddly exciting, somewhat confusing. Definitely foreign.
We arrived in South Africa after a long 37 hours of travel through too many different countries to list. The day following this, we met our daughter. Our beautiful, vivacious, energetic, independent, and amazing daughter. She is beyond anything we could have ever dreamed. God absolutely knew what he was doing when He weaved our family together.
We spent our first week visiting her each day at her orphanage, getting to know each other, and eating a lot of hamburgers and french fries. (Don't criticizes this unless you have a adopted a 6 year old from a foreign country. You literally do whatever it takes.)
Enter Katy Perry. We found our first days of bonding with her to be quite difficult. She didn't really want anything to do with us after Day 1. We tried everything. We were super cool. I mean, pullin' out all the "cool parent" tricks. I was like "Dang, Erik. We are awesome." Nosipho was like, "Not so much."
Who knew that Katy Perry and her Prism album would single handedly open up the door to instant bonding. With 1 (or maybe 500) plays of "Roar" and "Darkhorse", we were a VonTrap family miracle on our car trips to fast food. I'm 100% convinced that Katy would want us on stage with her. We have hand motions.
After a week, we broke through. We officially took her to our temporary residence to live with us permanently. We spent another week in Durban and on February 27th, she officially became ours according to the courts of South Africa. It was...perfect.
We headed to Cape Town the day after, where we will be for the next several weeks. Here we will be doing her US Immigration Medical Exams, applying for her Visa and Passport, and rounding up all loose ends to get us to our exit interview in Johannesburg (hopefully by the end of March).
Erik will leave on March 12th to head back home and back to work. (I may have had a complete emotional breakdown today about being a single parent for 2/3 weeks. I mean, maybe.)
Our time has been sweet. The girl is a riot. A firecracker. I think she wants to be Katy Perry (perhaps Juicy J, we aren't sure). But, she has brought some serious life to this family. She is strong, beautiful, and will definitely change the world. We know it.
We are proud parents of our sweet daughter, Nosipho (No-See-Po) Ruth Anderson, and would not/could not wish for something different.
We will try to update you all more than we have, but for now, prayers prayers prayers abundant for bonding, paperwork, the African process, and each steps forward as we learn to parent, love, and grow as a family!
And, if anyone didn't get tickets to the Katy Perry concert, you are welcome to come over to our home when we are back. Free show.
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Here We Come!
I have actually been writing out this blog post in my head for months.
It was going to be super elegant and quite epic, mixed with the slightest hint of humor (just for the people who prefer to awkwardly laugh in emotional situations).
All that went out the window. Real fast.
Instead, We are just a blubbering, hysterical mess. I can't even post a picture because we both look like someone who just watched Bambi 5 times in a row and then chugged 12 Monster Energy Drinks.
Please take a moment to picture this. That is us.
We woke up this morning to a phone call. THE phone call. And these 5 words...
YOU GOT YOUR COURT DATE!!!!!!
Exactly one year ago, we sat in a meeting with the face of our little girl on a piece of paper in front of us and said yes.
We said yes to the scariest thing we have ever decided in our lives. We said yes to something we knew nothing about. We said yes to God's plan for our family even though it didn't look anything like what we thought.
And holy cow. I'm so glad we said yes.
In the great words of Macauly Culkin, "This is it. Don't get scared now."
For something that we have been preparing for directly and indirectly for 3 years, we have never felt so excited, unprepared, anxious, elated, and ready.
Our court date is February 27th, which means we will be leaving in the next few weeks to get out to South Africa, meet our girl, and spend some bonding time with her before we head to court to make it all official!
Surreal.
After things calmed down a bit this morning (aka we could actually start to see again through our complete mess of tears) we actually took the time to look at our Facebooks and phones. This is how cool God is...
Three separate people had emailed us/messaged us saying that we had been on their minds last night and this morning and that they were praying for movement. Praying for amazing things.
God is fighting for us. God is fighting for our girl. And so are all of you.
None of this has been done in our own power and it will continue to not be done in our own strength. For each of those prayers, each of those encouragements, and each of those moments that you have taken to lift us up...we can not thank you enough.
The road is not over yet and I know we will continue to need TONS of prayers as we travel and become a family. And probably even more as we navigate becoming parents (Holy Crap. Let's cross that bridge when we get to it.)
But today....today is a long awaited day of praises. Like crazy dancing like a mad woman and singing at the top of your lungs praises.
Just do it. You know you want to. Because...
Sweet girl, here we come.
It was going to be super elegant and quite epic, mixed with the slightest hint of humor (just for the people who prefer to awkwardly laugh in emotional situations).
All that went out the window. Real fast.
Instead, We are just a blubbering, hysterical mess. I can't even post a picture because we both look like someone who just watched Bambi 5 times in a row and then chugged 12 Monster Energy Drinks.
Please take a moment to picture this. That is us.
We woke up this morning to a phone call. THE phone call. And these 5 words...
YOU GOT YOUR COURT DATE!!!!!!
Exactly one year ago, we sat in a meeting with the face of our little girl on a piece of paper in front of us and said yes.
We said yes to the scariest thing we have ever decided in our lives. We said yes to something we knew nothing about. We said yes to God's plan for our family even though it didn't look anything like what we thought.
And holy cow. I'm so glad we said yes.
In the great words of Macauly Culkin, "This is it. Don't get scared now."
For something that we have been preparing for directly and indirectly for 3 years, we have never felt so excited, unprepared, anxious, elated, and ready.
Our court date is February 27th, which means we will be leaving in the next few weeks to get out to South Africa, meet our girl, and spend some bonding time with her before we head to court to make it all official!
Surreal.
After things calmed down a bit this morning (aka we could actually start to see again through our complete mess of tears) we actually took the time to look at our Facebooks and phones. This is how cool God is...
Three separate people had emailed us/messaged us saying that we had been on their minds last night and this morning and that they were praying for movement. Praying for amazing things.
God is fighting for us. God is fighting for our girl. And so are all of you.
None of this has been done in our own power and it will continue to not be done in our own strength. For each of those prayers, each of those encouragements, and each of those moments that you have taken to lift us up...we can not thank you enough.
The road is not over yet and I know we will continue to need TONS of prayers as we travel and become a family. And probably even more as we navigate becoming parents (Holy Crap. Let's cross that bridge when we get to it.)
But today....today is a long awaited day of praises. Like crazy dancing like a mad woman and singing at the top of your lungs praises.
Just do it. You know you want to. Because...
Sweet girl, here we come.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Because of you...
Because of God's people doing unthinkable things...
Rallying around us in ways that we could have never imagined....
Standing up for us when we felt weak, overwhelmed, and defeated...
Because you said yes to making a difference...
Thank you.
Thank you for your generosity.
Love.
Encouragements.
For everything.
This is what happened.
And IS happening.
Because of you.
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Fathers and DAY 7.
4 years ago, I was sitting in church.
I felt a tap on my leg and looked over to my husband handing me a folded up piece of paper.
The question had been, "In what big ways do you want God to move through you and your family?"
I'm pretty sure at that point, my answer was God putting a Jimmy John's Sandwich Shop down the street from my house so I could use that as a ministry spot and eat all the lettuce wrap Italian sandwiches I wanted.
Erik clearly was on a different level.
I looked down at the piece of paper and to my amazement, written in golf size pew pencil was one word:
Adoption.
Before any doctor's appointments, before any conversations, before any "results"... God had placed in his heart the desire to become a dad through adoption.
So I don't think it is ironic today that our Give1Save1 week is ending on Father's Day.
He makes all things beautiful in his time.
So today as we wrap up a week of ridiculous, amazing, and unbelievable blessing, let's do it in honor of all the dads out there, who hope, dream, fight, cry, passionately love, and care for their kids...
For Erik. A Dad who has loved every step of the way, even before we knew what we were getting into.
We've got $1,800 more to go. If every friend of ours on Facebook gave $2 today, we would surpass this. So let's do it. Share, post, tweet, instagram...
Let's blow the socks off of this fundraiser in honor of Dad.
I felt a tap on my leg and looked over to my husband handing me a folded up piece of paper.
The question had been, "In what big ways do you want God to move through you and your family?"
I'm pretty sure at that point, my answer was God putting a Jimmy John's Sandwich Shop down the street from my house so I could use that as a ministry spot and eat all the lettuce wrap Italian sandwiches I wanted.
Erik clearly was on a different level.
I looked down at the piece of paper and to my amazement, written in golf size pew pencil was one word:
Adoption.
Before any doctor's appointments, before any conversations, before any "results"... God had placed in his heart the desire to become a dad through adoption.
So I don't think it is ironic today that our Give1Save1 week is ending on Father's Day.
He makes all things beautiful in his time.
So today as we wrap up a week of ridiculous, amazing, and unbelievable blessing, let's do it in honor of all the dads out there, who hope, dream, fight, cry, passionately love, and care for their kids...
For Erik. A Dad who has loved every step of the way, even before we knew what we were getting into.
We've got $1,800 more to go. If every friend of ours on Facebook gave $2 today, we would surpass this. So let's do it. Share, post, tweet, instagram...
Let's blow the socks off of this fundraiser in honor of Dad.
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Give1Save1 Day 6 and another AWESOME FREE GIVEAWAY!!
So, for real peeps. When we said you all were awesome, we weren't joking.
And due to your overwhelming support and love, we made it WAY past $4000!!
As another way of thanking you all and another encouragement for getting the word out we have decided to giveaway...
An Erik Anderson original "many faces of Erik" 12-month calendar complete with themed season pictures! He mentioned something about Uggs.
(Ok, he literally said he would disown me if I didn't write that.)
But, for real...we actually do have something for you and I think you will love it! Because I do!!! And it is not just amazing, but it is for an amazing cause too!!
So, first person to write "You hit $5,000!" (when we hit $5,000) gets this:
And due to your overwhelming support and love, we made it WAY past $4000!!
As another way of thanking you all and another encouragement for getting the word out we have decided to giveaway...
An Erik Anderson original "many faces of Erik" 12-month calendar complete with themed season pictures! He mentioned something about Uggs.
(Ok, he literally said he would disown me if I didn't write that.)
But, for real...we actually do have something for you and I think you will love it! Because I do!!! And it is not just amazing, but it is for an amazing cause too!!
So, first person to write "You hit $5,000!" (when we hit $5,000) gets this:
This INCREDIBLE Arrow Necklace is from an INCREDIBLE company called "Story Company." They do amazing work to empower people all over the world to use their skills and creativity to make sustainable business and change! Check them out HERE for more information on all of the great things they do and the awesome products they help to provide! (Even if you DON'T win this necklace, you should just go buy it...or buy everything on this site because you will be obsessed!)
And then GO! Go like the wind and share our link!! Lets make this happen! Two Days left, people!!! WAHOO!!!
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Give1Save1 South Africa Day 3!
So...
You guys are ridiculous. Like, good way ridiculous!
Not only are people all over the world pouring out love all over this adoption process but we are leaping toward our goal and it has only been 2 full days!
We can't wait to see what God is going to do this week, because He is already blowing past our expectations!
So keep spreading the news, sharing the link, praying, talking, jumping up and down like a crazy person...whatever you have to do to keep this thing going! We want Facebook to call us and tell us to stop posting this link because it has been posted too much! :)
We can't thank you enough.
Some of our favorite people in the world helped us put together this little video for you to enjoy...
Here we go, Day 3!!!!
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Give1Save1 South Africa Day 2!!
It is a miracle that I am even able to see as I type, considering we were both in tears all day yesterday with the RIDICULOUS outpouring of love and support that we were shown in just 24 hours!
Seriously people. Like for real.
It is funny how I doubt and worry and get anxious so much when God continually shows His blessing in ways FAR bigger than I can even imagine.
If God had a Twitter, he would "#BOOM" all the time.
So we are on to Day 2 of Give1Save1 and have no idea what to expect because clearly God is in the business of doing that.
Here is a little recap from of our thoughts yesterday!
We love you guys so much!! Thank you!!!
Now lets go dominate Day 2!!!
Monday, June 10, 2013
Drum Roll.....brrrrrrrrrrruuuuuummmmmmm...
I know how much you guys all hate the suspense we leave you in on a fairly good basis...
But, would you have it any other way?!
So for those of you who saw our post on Instagram/Facebook yesterday, you know we have some big news! And big news indeed!!!
We would like to announce that this week...
WE HAVE BEEN CHOSEN AS THE GIVE1SAVE1 FAMILY FOR OUR SOUTH AFRICA ADOPTION!!!!
What?!??!
This is a HUGE deal!!!!!
As many of you know, in January, we started a second adoption of a precious girl on the waiting child list at our agency. She is 6, amazing, and beautiful!
Because she is a waiting child, this whole process has gone really fast and everyone working on making this adoption happen is working hard to bring her home to us. And we can't wait. Like, literally, can't wait!
Last week, we were notified of some fees that we were unaware of that need to be paid to keep our adoption going forward (somewhat crushing but not destroying news, if you know what I mean).
When all you want to do is bring home your daughter, these kinds of things can be heart-wrenching. I sat in bathroom at church crying for a solid 20 mins before I made Erik take me home.
It was messy.
Real messy.
But God is so good and we have realized that through struggle and trials, and stolen cars (which did indeed happen the day after this news), God teaches us dependance, strength, and reliance upon him and His people to bless and care for us.
And that is exactly what has happened.
People stepping up to the plate to care for HIS people.
So now, we are asking that you partner with us this week as we pray hard, work hard, and rock the socks off of this adoption by getting those fees paid and bringing our girl home!
If you are new to Give1Save1 or not new at all, we will still give you a bit of instruction as to what you can do!
1. All you have to do is click on the link below, or RIGHT HERE or THIS PLACE or YES RIGHT HERE and watch our video to hear our story!
2. Then click on the "PureCharity Button" on the side of the Give1Save1 Blog to donate $1 or more to support our adoption journey! (This is new for those of you who donated last time to make sure that all of our money goes directly to our agency and IS TAX-DEDUCTIBLE and super secure! You will just need to make an account! WOO!)
3. Spread the Love!!! This works totally based on your generosity not just to give but to share! So post it, tweet it, instagram it, do whatever you have to do to spread the news and get people on board!
We are $7,000 away from bringing our girl home!! So thank you in advance for your love and support and walking with us for not just this week, but for so many (past and future), and making it possible to hopefully bring our sweet girl home soon!
Let's do this!
But, would you have it any other way?!
So for those of you who saw our post on Instagram/Facebook yesterday, you know we have some big news! And big news indeed!!!
We would like to announce that this week...
WE HAVE BEEN CHOSEN AS THE GIVE1SAVE1 FAMILY FOR OUR SOUTH AFRICA ADOPTION!!!!
What?!??!
This is a HUGE deal!!!!!
As many of you know, in January, we started a second adoption of a precious girl on the waiting child list at our agency. She is 6, amazing, and beautiful!
Because she is a waiting child, this whole process has gone really fast and everyone working on making this adoption happen is working hard to bring her home to us. And we can't wait. Like, literally, can't wait!
Last week, we were notified of some fees that we were unaware of that need to be paid to keep our adoption going forward (somewhat crushing but not destroying news, if you know what I mean).
When all you want to do is bring home your daughter, these kinds of things can be heart-wrenching. I sat in bathroom at church crying for a solid 20 mins before I made Erik take me home.
It was messy.
Real messy.
But God is so good and we have realized that through struggle and trials, and stolen cars (which did indeed happen the day after this news), God teaches us dependance, strength, and reliance upon him and His people to bless and care for us.
And that is exactly what has happened.
People stepping up to the plate to care for HIS people.
So now, we are asking that you partner with us this week as we pray hard, work hard, and rock the socks off of this adoption by getting those fees paid and bringing our girl home!
If you are new to Give1Save1 or not new at all, we will still give you a bit of instruction as to what you can do!
1. All you have to do is click on the link below, or RIGHT HERE or THIS PLACE or YES RIGHT HERE and watch our video to hear our story!
2. Then click on the "PureCharity Button" on the side of the Give1Save1 Blog to donate $1 or more to support our adoption journey! (This is new for those of you who donated last time to make sure that all of our money goes directly to our agency and IS TAX-DEDUCTIBLE and super secure! You will just need to make an account! WOO!)
3. Spread the Love!!! This works totally based on your generosity not just to give but to share! So post it, tweet it, instagram it, do whatever you have to do to spread the news and get people on board!
We are $7,000 away from bringing our girl home!! So thank you in advance for your love and support and walking with us for not just this week, but for so many (past and future), and making it possible to hopefully bring our sweet girl home soon!
Let's do this!
Friday, March 22, 2013
Backpacks, Jump Rope, and an Older Child Adoption
Diapers and rocking chairs.
That is where we were at.
There are days where I am still there.
That is...until I find myself wandering through the toy aisles at Target wondering if our daughter is able to jump rope or if she will like a Disney Princess backpack or lean more toward the mini-hipster owl style.
Oh yes. That is because she is 6 years old. Not 10 months old.
We have had to do some serious mentality shifting since January. It is almost like when you spend weeks and weeks preparing for a big test and then sit down, fully prepared and slightly puffed up at your lack of procrastination, to find that not one of the things you studied is actually on the test.
(If you haven't ever experienced that, then you are just far too smart for your own good and/or just a huge slacker that never studied.)
When we decided in January to pursue another adoption, we not only said yes to a beautiful 6 year old girl on a Waiting Child List, but we said yes to throwing out everything we THOUGHT we knew about preparing to be adoptive parents.
When you've spent 13 months preparing, reading, training, and learning specifically for something and then it all changes...
It rattles the cages a bit.
We've all of sudden stopped thinking about how to make a bottle and what crib to buy and started looking at how to register for elementary school and how to communicate through a language barrier.
I mean HELLO?!? Steven Spielberg would have a hay-day with a plot twist like this! (I may be taking some liberties with that one, but hey, I'm a big dreamer.)
So, how do you do Older Child Adoptions?
I have no idea.
But luckily, there are a lot of really wonderful people out there that have been brave enough to say yes to a child that is waiting for a family. A child who has already experienced a decent amount of life in their own country, speaking their own language, learning their own traditions and ways of living.
And we get to learn from their successes and their failures. For that, I am so grateful.
So as we read, learn, train, talk, and prepare as much as possible for yet another crazy and amazing adventure, here are a few thoughts I have to a lot of questions I have...
Why an Older Child?
We never in a million years thought that we would start out parenthood with a 6 year old. That goes against every single understanding of the family order that I have ever known.
But, that is just it...that is all I have only ever known.
That doesn't mean that it is the only right way.
We had this awesome moment in our marriage (the kind that would have included fireworks and a soundtrack had this been that Spielberg movie I was referring to earlier) where we saw this little girl, saw her sweet joyful face, and knew in our hearts that we couldn't say no.
If we say no, and the next person says no, and the next person says no, and so on....
Then who will ever say yes?
And isn't that what we set out to do in the first place? Say yes to God's TOTALLY RIDICULOUS plan for our lives through adoption?
We realize that an Older Child Adoption is not for every family. But, was it not for us just because we don't have kids and are generally "young" by comparison? Just because it may somewhere down the line throw off the birth order of the children in our family? Because we are 29/30 and we have no idea what to do with a 6 year old?
Those just didn't seem like good enough reasons for us. Not good enough to say no to an orphan who needs a family.
What about all of the "challenges" that come with adopting an Older Child?
We may be young, but we are not naive. (Well...for the most part.) We know that this adoption won't be all roses and fluffy bunnies...which would be weird anyway.
There ARE challenges that come with Older Child adoptions like a greater sense of loss, difficulty in attachment, development, language barriers...the list goes on. We will most likely have to face many of these situations and pray for a lot of patience, a lot of grace, and giant dose of humility.
We have a lot to learn. A LOT. And not just from books and conversations. I'm pretty sure a lot of this learning will come once we are actually face to face with our little girl, growing and learning how to be a family together.
But, what family doesn't have challenges? A biological family may have different challenges than an adoptive family, but that doesn't make it any more or less challenging, does it?
A dear friend of mine, who adopted an older child several years ago, said to me over a perfectly brewed cup of coffee, "Jessa, you guys will indeed face challenges as parents. I face challenges every day, some with my biological children and some with my adopted one. But at the end of the day, they are all my children and I wouldn't want it any other way."
Are you scared?
Freaking terrified.
So if anyone reading this has been here, lived through it, and wants to share some important "know-hows"...bring it!
There are days where I feel like I am going to be the worst mom ever. I'm selfish, impatient, quick to anger, even quicker to talk, prideful, and protective of my "own" time.
I sometimes think that I am an even worse "adoptive" mom because I'm not reading enough materials, taking enough online webinars on parenting older children, writing eloquently and frequently on my blog, supporting 150 causes, or starting an orphan care ministry in my town.
God is pretty cool like this though. He doesn't judge me on my Amazon shopping cart book list. He doesn't even give me an eyebrow raise when I spend an afternoon catching up on missed episodes of Nashville instead of blogging about adoption.
He has a really gentle way of reminding me that I am not perfect. Never will be. Don't have to be.
Because He was for me.
And there is something strangely relieving about knowing that I'm going to try my guts out in adopting an older child, being a parent, loving a daughter, passionately pursuing my husband...and probably failing a lot.
And it is okay.
I pray every day that we will be the best parents that we can be and that we won't completely screw up our children. But before I pray any of those prayers, I pray that our daughter and our child that is maybe waiting for us in Ethiopia right now, will ALWAYS know how deeply loved they are by our God.
And that they will know that far before any of our mistakes, missteps, or "learning curves" that we throw at them as parents.
Like I said before...
I know Older Child Adoption is not for everyone.
But it is totally for us.
Even if fall flat on our face while re-learning jump rope.
That is where we were at.
There are days where I am still there.
That is...until I find myself wandering through the toy aisles at Target wondering if our daughter is able to jump rope or if she will like a Disney Princess backpack or lean more toward the mini-hipster owl style.
Oh yes. That is because she is 6 years old. Not 10 months old.
We have had to do some serious mentality shifting since January. It is almost like when you spend weeks and weeks preparing for a big test and then sit down, fully prepared and slightly puffed up at your lack of procrastination, to find that not one of the things you studied is actually on the test.
(If you haven't ever experienced that, then you are just far too smart for your own good and/or just a huge slacker that never studied.)
When we decided in January to pursue another adoption, we not only said yes to a beautiful 6 year old girl on a Waiting Child List, but we said yes to throwing out everything we THOUGHT we knew about preparing to be adoptive parents.
When you've spent 13 months preparing, reading, training, and learning specifically for something and then it all changes...
It rattles the cages a bit.
We've all of sudden stopped thinking about how to make a bottle and what crib to buy and started looking at how to register for elementary school and how to communicate through a language barrier.
I mean HELLO?!? Steven Spielberg would have a hay-day with a plot twist like this! (I may be taking some liberties with that one, but hey, I'm a big dreamer.)
So, how do you do Older Child Adoptions?
I have no idea.
But luckily, there are a lot of really wonderful people out there that have been brave enough to say yes to a child that is waiting for a family. A child who has already experienced a decent amount of life in their own country, speaking their own language, learning their own traditions and ways of living.
And we get to learn from their successes and their failures. For that, I am so grateful.
So as we read, learn, train, talk, and prepare as much as possible for yet another crazy and amazing adventure, here are a few thoughts I have to a lot of questions I have...
Why an Older Child?
We never in a million years thought that we would start out parenthood with a 6 year old. That goes against every single understanding of the family order that I have ever known.
But, that is just it...that is all I have only ever known.
That doesn't mean that it is the only right way.
We had this awesome moment in our marriage (the kind that would have included fireworks and a soundtrack had this been that Spielberg movie I was referring to earlier) where we saw this little girl, saw her sweet joyful face, and knew in our hearts that we couldn't say no.
If we say no, and the next person says no, and the next person says no, and so on....
Then who will ever say yes?
And isn't that what we set out to do in the first place? Say yes to God's TOTALLY RIDICULOUS plan for our lives through adoption?
We realize that an Older Child Adoption is not for every family. But, was it not for us just because we don't have kids and are generally "young" by comparison? Just because it may somewhere down the line throw off the birth order of the children in our family? Because we are 29/30 and we have no idea what to do with a 6 year old?
Those just didn't seem like good enough reasons for us. Not good enough to say no to an orphan who needs a family.
What about all of the "challenges" that come with adopting an Older Child?
We may be young, but we are not naive. (Well...for the most part.) We know that this adoption won't be all roses and fluffy bunnies...which would be weird anyway.
There ARE challenges that come with Older Child adoptions like a greater sense of loss, difficulty in attachment, development, language barriers...the list goes on. We will most likely have to face many of these situations and pray for a lot of patience, a lot of grace, and giant dose of humility.
We have a lot to learn. A LOT. And not just from books and conversations. I'm pretty sure a lot of this learning will come once we are actually face to face with our little girl, growing and learning how to be a family together.
But, what family doesn't have challenges? A biological family may have different challenges than an adoptive family, but that doesn't make it any more or less challenging, does it?
A dear friend of mine, who adopted an older child several years ago, said to me over a perfectly brewed cup of coffee, "Jessa, you guys will indeed face challenges as parents. I face challenges every day, some with my biological children and some with my adopted one. But at the end of the day, they are all my children and I wouldn't want it any other way."
Are you scared?
Freaking terrified.
So if anyone reading this has been here, lived through it, and wants to share some important "know-hows"...bring it!
There are days where I feel like I am going to be the worst mom ever. I'm selfish, impatient, quick to anger, even quicker to talk, prideful, and protective of my "own" time.
I sometimes think that I am an even worse "adoptive" mom because I'm not reading enough materials, taking enough online webinars on parenting older children, writing eloquently and frequently on my blog, supporting 150 causes, or starting an orphan care ministry in my town.
God is pretty cool like this though. He doesn't judge me on my Amazon shopping cart book list. He doesn't even give me an eyebrow raise when I spend an afternoon catching up on missed episodes of Nashville instead of blogging about adoption.
He has a really gentle way of reminding me that I am not perfect. Never will be. Don't have to be.
Because He was for me.
And there is something strangely relieving about knowing that I'm going to try my guts out in adopting an older child, being a parent, loving a daughter, passionately pursuing my husband...and probably failing a lot.
And it is okay.
I pray every day that we will be the best parents that we can be and that we won't completely screw up our children. But before I pray any of those prayers, I pray that our daughter and our child that is maybe waiting for us in Ethiopia right now, will ALWAYS know how deeply loved they are by our God.
And that they will know that far before any of our mistakes, missteps, or "learning curves" that we throw at them as parents.
Like I said before...
I know Older Child Adoption is not for everyone.
But it is totally for us.
Even if fall flat on our face while re-learning jump rope.
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