Sunday, April 29, 2012

Transparent Moment

I don't often feel sad about the fact that we aren't able to have kids naturally.

I feel like I have been there and walked through that emotion. Once when we found out that it was me. Once when we found out that it was actually both of us.

One of the coolest things about adopting, for us, is that we both feel like our hearts have always wanted to adopt. We just didn't know that our family was going to be completely grown out of adoptions.

I had a moment on Saturday.

A moment where I got really angry.
My anger came out of the realization that a lot of the families adopt because they feel called to or wanted to...

Not because they have to.

Please understand a few things:
1. I know that there are a lot of families, both adoptive and not, that struggle with infertility.
2. I also realize that adoption, no matter what the reason, is absolutely incredible and an absolute living out of the gospel.
3. I am not looking for anyone to feel sorry for us.

I could not be more excited about the plan that God has put in place for us and the crazy road map of our lives that we are following by trusting that plan.

But it was the first time in a long time that my heart sank a bit and a tear welled up in my eye over the lose of something that we didn't have.

To be honest...I'm a bit thankful for those moments.

They make me feel human.

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