It is on my bucket list to run a marathon but that
might be the part of my bucket that has a hole in it.
Oh, Liza....I feel for ya, girl!
Erik and I tried the "running couple"
thing for a while which ended miserably on several accounts.
So, the running shoes that I bought because I was
going to "become a runner" turned into some cool looking shoes that I
wear to Target to make it look like I just ran 15 miles and am now obviously
deserving of a Target Decor/Clothing slurge.
No. I am no runner.
So just a heads up...this next part could be
partial "hear-say".
I have heard that when these so called
"runners" run, there is a moment during the excessive push of miles
where you go into a state of running euphoria.
Where the push at the beginning and the push and
the end meet a happy medium and you set yourself on a human type of cruise
control.
Can we just take a moment to interject that we
spent the last 4 1/2 years with a car that didn't have cruise control only to
realize that cruise control is potentially the coolest thing...ever.
Life-changing.
Ok. Back to the running that I don't do...
This cruise control state has got me thinking quite
a bit these days. Since January, our whole world has been consumed with
adoption. Adoption prep. Adoption training. Adoption planning. Adoption
fundraising. Adoption blogs. Adoption. Adoption. Adoption.
We started out, looking for the right pace. At
times going too fast and other times going too slow. But eventually, things
evened out and we found our stride.
And now, I feel like we've hit cruise control. Not
to say that we are "cruisin'" through adoption. You would have to be
crazy to think that this process is a "cruise".
But, a bit of a good stride.
We reached a point in our adoption where there
isn't paper to sign, bills to pay (thanks to many of you!), meetings to attend,
sanity to be lost. We hit a stride that doesn't feel so fast anymore.
And do you know what I started feeling when we got
there?
Like I was a bad "adoptive" parent.
Seriously?
Yes. Seriously.
I felt bad because I felt like I didn’t have a
cause anymore. Like I wasn’t working hard enough or blogging well enough or
talking “adoption” enough.
Like I was taking a sneak nap in the janitor’s
closet when I was supposed to be working.
I am realizing this:
It. Is. Totally. Ok.
Wha?!?! I don't have to be tearing my hair out,
sprinting through offices, post offices, keyboards, and pen ink? I can
just wait expectantly and excitedly and sometimes even have a moment in my life
where I am not thinking about adoption?
Yes.
Yes I can.
And although we hate that we won't have our child
today or tomorrow...it is ok for a while to find our cruise control button,
take the foot off the gas, and put a good use to those "not for
running" running shoes in the middle of the push.
ha ha ha...totally in the same boat! We joked that we were racing to wait!
ReplyDeleteThe high you reach when running is amazing. So amazing its addictive. You never want it to end and can't wait for another one to happen. Its only the beginning of the process for my wife and I's journey towards our new son, but things can't happen quick enough. Our little guy is waiting at the Orphanage and doesn't even know we are coming to get him. One day...
ReplyDeleteUntil then I will litterly run to give myself room to think and pray. A marathon doesn't start at the starting line of the 26.2 mile race, but when the decision to get to the race becomes a goal. Your adoption marathon is still in the training stage, the start happens with the Judge says Go your baby is all yours.