Monday, September 17, 2012

The Good vs. The Ugly

Adoption is a beautiful thing.

When Erik and I started this process, we found ourselves obsessively drawn toward watching Ethiopian Adoption "Gotcha Day" videos on YouTube.

If you need a REALLY good full body cleansing cry...go look it up. You can thank me later.

Everyone always tells us that they are so excited for us. That this is such an amazing thing that we are going through. That adoption...well...adoption is a beautiful thing.

I don't disagree. But I also think there are some really ugly sides. Some really hard sides. Some really messed up and upsetting things about it that come with the good.

We have been getting updates for the past couple of months about the government process in Ethiopia and how things are changing. We were told that we might be seeing an increase in wait times but would be officially notified by mid-September.

On Friday, we found out that Dossiers sent to Ethiopia as of August are looking at a 29-31 month wait time from the time our Dossier is in Ethiopia to referral.
29-31 months?
They don't show that in the "Gotcha Day" videos.

We have made a lot of great friends through this adoption process that I know are hearing the same news and I know are saddened, discouraged, and broken-hearted.

We also know that there are a lot of kids in Ethiopia waiting for homes, waiting for families, waiting for someone to do something.

It doesn't make sense.
It makes me so mad.
It breaks our hearts.
It makes us hate the bad so much.
It makes us question the good.
It throws everything up in the air and begs the question, "What happens now?"

I am slightly at a loss today.

"But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, they run and don’t get tired, they walk and do not grow faint." Isaiah 40:31


  1. I know this is very very hard....It is a journey we will not understand until you get to the top of the hill. Then you can look back down and see the whys and the strong. God is holding you and your future child in the palm of HIS hands...and HIS timing is more perfect than ours....Love you...Mom

  2. I wish I could be sitting next to you right now : (

  3. Hey Jessa, I know we havent talked since, well, high school. I've been somewhat following yall through facebook and just wanted you to know I'll be praying. Praying that it will move swiftly and that until your Gotcha Day is here that He will be enough. Thanks for your honesty
    Ashley (wherry) wickliffe

  4. This stinks. If I weren't a high school teacher with the possibility of kids/parents reading my words, I'd use much stronger language. Like big, mean cuss words. I'm so sad for you. You are both strong, optimistic people, and after you grieve, you will be able to wait cheerfully again. Until then, please know we love you and are praying that you find God in your disappointment.