Hello 30, Goodbye '13.

Sometimes you need to walk away. Just walk away.
Like when you are trying to hang that weird plastic stuff on your windows because it is supposed to help you keep your house warm and the plastic keeps clinging to you.
Or when you are trying to beat your husband's high score on the phone game "Dots" and have officially cramped your fingers into a permanent "index pointing" position only to realize your score is so low that it doesn't even make the board.
Or when you are trying to get the "perfect" sock bun that everyone says is so easy to do, yet somehow you are the only person in the world who's hair thinks it would look better as a 80's rock star sunburst.

Or when something becomes so overbearing and looming that the pressure makes your heart want to sink faster and more traumatically than the Titanic.

I know that writing is a form of therapy for many. It is a form of therapy for me. At times.

But there was a time that I needed to walk away. When the thought of writing yet another post about our continually postponed adoption made me feel like I was wrapped up in clinging plastic and stuck with my fingers in "index pointing" position. (Awkward picture, eh?)

So, in true form to how I do most anything that I am overwhelmed with...
I walked away.
Unannounced.
I didn't write, I didn't call, I didn't text...I kind of just shut down.
It is clearly not ideal and often quite hurtful to people that I am close with but who really wants to hang out with a girl with crazy hair wrapped up like a plastic mummy? Exactly.

In my time away, I turned 30. Which obviously made me much wiser and sound of mind. I had some time to reflect on this past year and all of the really incredible things that I DIDN'T write about. Yup. Thats right. Good things actually happened! I was just too consumed with our adoption to recognize it.

I realized that although our journey has been crazy and amazing and tons of people have wrapped their arms around us in support, prayer, and love...it is not the only thing going on in my life. And when I let it get to that...I felt smothered. I felt trapped. I felt exhausted.

Just like those people that ONLY EVER talk about their kids. We were ONLY EVER talking about our adoption. And we don't even have a kid yet! Yikes. Not cool, Andersons. Not cool.

So, now that we are both thirty, flirty, and thriving-ish? and clearly WAAAY wiser than we were 12 month ago...
We wanted to share a few moments that made this past year make us not want to walk away and shutdown from the world. Obviously, some adoption stuff is interweaved but hey, we can't just pretend it isn't happening!

Quick Recap:

~Began January with beginning our adoption from South Africa. Announced it with a pic of us through a pic of an iPhone. Classic. 

~ Spent amazing times with friends on the sunny beaches of California. Should have taken advantage of that more (cough, -13 today, cough).

~ A visit from my beautiful friend Jenny, Erik's 30th birthday trip to Chicago for the Cubs Home Opener, and family visits out to California full of wine, golf, and blueberry picking.

~ Quality and amazing friendships made over the past 6 years because God brought us to California to begin our marriage, all of whom we have been unbelievably blessed by!

~A sad farewell to a trusty ole car that was stolen and stripped and towed to the salvage yard. RIP Green Machine.

~Dossier #2: finished. 

~ Celebrated 5 years of laughing, loving, crying & adventuring by getting tattoos. We are so romantic. 

~Finished up our year at Modesto Covenant with an incredible group of students, a crazy Adventure trip to somewhere in Nevada, and people who will forever be a part of our hearts. They packed up our apartment into a UHAUL in less than 2 hours. No joke. Rockstars.

~We moved. Like big time moved to Minnesota. God called, we answered. Our journey was epic. Still is. 

~ Moved into a 1923 house that we love, started at a new church that we love, live in a city that we love. I mean...it's okay or whatever.

~ Travelled to Colorado for my cousin's wedding, spent quality time with the fam, and DANCED like I had the lead role in Footloose.

~Our nephew, Wells, was born and we are obsessed. 

~Watching Bella walk in snow for the first time in her life. Hilarious. 

~Enjoying being close to one of my favorite families in this entire nation/world, seeing family more often, cutting down our own Christmas trees, and exploring parts of the Midwest I've never seen before. 

~ Siblings. 

So here's to a new year, probably filled with a lot more adoption news than anyone ever wanted to know, but also filled with sweet moments outside of that which define our lives and bring us life. 

I suppose sometimes walking away to gain perspective on all the good isn't so bad after all. 

Cheers and Adios to 2013. 

The Injured Reserve

This thing is going a lot different than I thought.

This is all I kept hearing while Erik was watching a video in our living room last night.

I immediately was quick to tell him that I obviously did not like that man who was talking on the video. I think my exact words were "Well, that is stupid." (Watch the video and you will clearly see that what he says is amazing and not stupid in any way. I was in denial.)

This thing is going a lot different than I thought. We are on the injured reserve list right now. Benched for the time being. As far as we know, we won't be called into the game anytime soon. At least not until after Christmas.

This thing is going a lot different than I thought, but God is still faithful.

I never thought an NFL Quarterback could bring me a big dose of perspective on our adoption. I was wrong.

A No News Update

Whoever came up with the phrase "No news is good news" obviously never adopted.

Frankly, I want to punch that person in the face. A little abrasive?

But, because we have had a lot of people asking us what is going on, I figured I'd give you an update. A "No News" update.

So what is going on? Here is the 411.

Last time we updated you all, we told you about the date debacle on some of our documents. The issue was resolved (much more quickly than anticipated, which was a huge praise) but then the government decided that they couldn't make civil decisions and shut down. Well played, guys.

When we first arrived in Minnesota in August, we had to get new fingerprints for our Home Study update. Since I literally think that most criminals haven't been fingerprinted as much as we have, we skipped on down to the police station like pros to repeat this process for the 4th time. They said it would take 2-3 weeks.
As of 2 weeks ago, we still hadn't passed our background check. (insert California being a little slow on the uptake and the Federal government being, well, preschoolers.)

As for our referral and court dates, basically, we have to pass a second stage of immigration here in the US, then that approval has to be sent to South Africa, they have to approve our approval and grant us a court date all before mid November so that we can be out of South Africa by mid December before the courts close for the season.
However, we couldn't file for immigration until our Home Study update was complete which needed the fingerprints that still hadn't been approved.
See how confusing this is? If I didn't believe that God was the greatest puzzle master in the world, I think I would just have given up.

So, our agency decided that we were going to basically throw out procedures and just start the ball rolling on everything even though the very first puzzle piece wasn't in place. That is what I'm talkin' about! Rebels!
We applied for immigration without our completed Home Study update, then finally heard back about our fingerprints and finished the update. I was able to talk to our Immigration Officer and explain our situation and (Praise the Lord!) she is great! As of right now, things are pretty much dependent on her to push through our case and get our I800 approval done more quickly than usual.

That is so much information.

I sometimes forget that it all makes so much more sense when you have been looking at all the paperwork for the last year. Sorry? #notsosorry

So where does that leave us?
Well it leaves us completely vulnerable and completely out of control.
If you haven't learned anything about me yet, these are 2 things that make me kick and scream and throw things.

Best case scenario, our USCIS officer pushes through our I800 application and South Africa grants us a quick court date and we leave in the next month. That is like..."winning all the gold medals in the Olympics in every sport" best case scenario.

Worst case scenario, everything gets put on hold until after the new year and we wait. Again.

I'm for the gold medals, personally.

As we said in our last post, we are praying for things that don't make sense. Praying that the greatest puzzle master of all time is going to blow our minds by putting together all the pieces in the craziest way possible and get us to South Africa before Christmas so that we can finally bring our little girl home.

But we are also praying for patience and peace, trusting that God's timing (although in the thick of it doesn't always make sense) is better than ours.

So until there is news...we will be on our knees praying.

Nothing I Hold On To

I was woken up this morning by a hot cup of coffee on my bed stand  from my husband. Coffee and then really loud worship music in the bathroom while he showered.

Don't get me wrong, I love worship music. And worshipping. Just not before my coffee. (That is probably a stronghold worth working on.)

"I lean not on my own understanding. My life is in the hands of the maker of heaven."

Boooooo. I like my coffee. I like my own understanding. Control issues much?

"I lean not on my own understanding. My life is in the hands of the maker of heaven."

We get it, Will Reagan, you don't have to repeat yourself a billion times. What is the point of that anyway?

"I give it all to you, God, trusting that you'll make something beautiful out of me."

Whoa. 

"I will climb this mountain with my hands wide open. There's nothing I hold on to."

Clearly, God doesn't care if I haven't had my morning coffee yet to start a conversation with me. 

I'm clearly moody about it. But, I'm listening. 

Maybe just with one ear. 

There's nothing I hold on to.

In my life, especially with our adoption, I sometimes find myself in too deep. My thoughts, my words, my actions, my world...I cling so tightly. 

Recently, it has been even worse, wondering if we are going to get through to court before December, knowing that if we don't have a court date for November, we will be waiting until after the new year to bring our girl home. We are pushing through paperwork, talking with immigration, mass communicating with social workers, praying for governments to play nice, compiling our travel expenses knowing that if this all goes through we might have just a few days notice to hop on a plane and go. 

"I will climb this mountain with my hands wide open. There's nothing I hold on to."

And then there is that. How do you even climb a mountain with no hands! That doesn't even make sense. 

I suppose that is the point.
Got it, God.

We are praying for things that don't make sense. That seem impossible. That can't happen.

Nothing I hold on to. 

This is our prayer and we ask that it be yours for us as well. With prayers of court dates, paperwork, miracles, our daughter...

We ask for prayers to climb this mountain with our hands wide open. To rest in the hands of the maker. That we would be made beautiful through this process and His glory would be made known. 

Nothing I hold on to.

Nothing we hold on to.

Hurdles and Skinned Hands

Have you ever been so excited about something that you awkwardly tripped, flung yourself forward, hit the pavement, and felt the searing pain of the palms of your hands scraping across the gravel?

You know, the pain that doesn't show up in the form of cool battle wounds or scars but burns to the depth of your being for like 5 days straight?

I'd like to say that these incidents were isolated only to my growing years of childhood, but seeing as I am quite clumsy...this is a normal occurrence.

It hurts. A lot.

And although a meager metaphor for our lives right now, it was the only thing I could think of during this last week as we have journeyed through our referral acceptance.

There is nothing quite like receiving your referral for the first time. Feeling the joy, anticipation, nervousness, fear, and hope all wrapped into 20 pieces of paper that probably meant nothing to anyone for a long time.

Seeing pictures. Hearing her story.

Beautiful.

We got so wrapped up in the joy and excitement that 1 week later, as we took a closer look, we realized that there was a major date discrepancy in our daughter's paperwork.

All of the official referral and government paperwork had one date as her birthday and her birth certificate had another. It went through 2 agencies and 2 governments and we were the ones to discover it. (Insert my poor attitude here).

As we have been in communication with our agency, we found out today that the date has to be changed on all the paperwork including the government form. The amount of time this will take is unknown.

We have been promised speediness, but as we have learned quickly, that doesn't mean a whole lot.

Vulnerable moment: I feel like I have skinned hands all over. I'm hurt. I'm angry. I'm frustrated. And I'm still laying on the ground rolling back and forth wondering what happened.

Erik asked me this morning if I knew God was good. "Yes. I know God is good." "Then let's cling to that," he said. (He makes my flailing, out of control, banged up being look slightly pathetic.)

We are clinging. We are. It is just so hard sometimes with skinned hands.

The Start Of It All...well...kind of.

Oh hey.

Long time no talk.
That's my bad. Don't worry...you haven't missed...much?

The long and short of it is this...

In the end of July we got our South African Central Authority approval to go forward with our adoption.

1 very short week later, we packed up a Uhaul and trucked halfway across the country to Minnesota to start a new chapter in life.

One even shorter week after that we arrived in St. Paul, moved into our new house, had a Home Study update, Erik started his new job as a High School Youth Pastor and we waited for our official referral. 

One very LONG month after that....

We received a phone call. And an email. Today.

You better believe it. 

WE GOT OUR REFERRAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are just a little excited. Just a little. 

Crazy ride in, eh?

More to come soon! I promise I won't make you wait another month to update you! But for now...

HOLY COW!!!! PRAISE GOD!!!!!

APPROVED!

Um. Yeah. No big deal. 

Just received a phone call that our case in South Africa was approved by the Central Authorities to adopt our sweet girl! 

We should be expecting our official referral somewhere on the road between California and Minnesota. (That is about 10-14 days for those of you who aren't mapping our travels!)

We are elated. Even in the midst of chaos, great news is great news.

Praise God. 

Times...They Are A Changin'

“To make a shift from one to another,” “to give a different position, course, or direction,” “to make radically different.” These are just some of the ways “change” is defined. And if we are all being honest here….change is never easy. It forces us to let go of control, to throw away our checklists (side note…I have a deep love for checklists), causes many sleepless nights, and destroys the walls of our comfort zone.

But both my husband and I sense that God has ordered a plate of change for our lives with a side of “buckle up for the ride.”

So here is what is going on with the Andersons. A few months ago, my incredible husband Erik was approached by a church in Minnesota about possibly coming on staff with them in an awesome opportunity to serve as their High School Pastor. We were completely surprised by the conversation since we hadn't been looking at other churches and are obviously not at an ideal spot in our lives to move. We had been praying non-stop since we starting talking with them and being careful to listen extremely closely and clearly to where God was leading.

After a lot of time, prayer, and conversations, we decided to accept this call. It was and has been a super hard decision and not one (if you ask me) that seems to make any sense as far as timing goes...but we feel clear and confident that God has called us to go and we are doing our best to be faithful to Him.

So…in 8 days we will be packing up and heading back toward the Midwest. It has and will continue to be a total whirlwind!

We can’t say enough how thankful we are to all of the people who loved us so much over the years here in Modesto, at our church and the community that has been built up around us. The students, families, and friends that we have grown to love so much are so incredible and we have been so blessed by each of them in unbelievable ways.  They have made us better people in everyway possible.

And specifically looking back on our adoption journey, we could not have come this far without each of them. When we felt alone, weak, confused, excited, scared out of our minds, joyful, the community here has wrapped their arms around us, encouraged us, and loved us and our future children so fully…it is hard to even put into words.

We hate that we have to say goodbye (or more like see you soon) to friends that we have depended on the last several years, but we are so thankful that we do have those friendships and all of the support, love, and encouragement that we have received in the last 6 years of our journey.

So here is to life’s next step and next adventure. And as hard as it is to say farewell…

We can’t wait to see what God has planned. 

It Cost's What?!?!

I had the great opportunity to write a quest blog post for Give1Save1 this week! Check it out on all the ins and outs of Adoption Costs and how to do it wisely! :)

Here is the link:
It Cost's What!?!?! Debt Free Adoption

I’ve been surprised at the amount of conversations I’ve had with people who say things like, “We would love to adopt but we just don’t have that kind of money.”

Apparently, you don’t know me. Up until I was 24, I thought credit cards were made for my own personal enjoyment and when I figured out that you actually had to pay that money back, I married a youth pastor.

Here is a little insight: No one has “that kind of money”.

Well, someone does.

Bill Gates.

But if you aren’t Bill Gates, or someone in that money zipcode, you don’t typically just have $30-40,000 lying around for a rainy day.

The cost of adoption is ridiculous. This is not a myth.

The bigger tragedy, however, are children living without families because adoption is expensive.

The truth of the matter is…

IF YOU HAVE THE HEART TO ADOPT THEN YOU CAN ADOPT!

I am taking huge liberties here, but I would say one of the top reasons why people don’t adopt (even if they feel called to) is because of the money issue.

When Erik and I started our adoption process, with our net worth being somewhere far in the negative thousands territory, we were 3 months into a David Ramsey money makeover. There was a part in the book that we were reading that said something along the lines of this…

“Nowhere in the Bible does God call us into a purpose and use debt as a means to accomplish it.”

And so, since we were committed to our new lifestyle changes, we made a promise.

ADOPT WITHOUT DEBT.

After 1 ½ years,  $42,000, and part-way through 2 different adoptions, we have remained debt-free from our adoption process. Did you hear that?

Debt free.

And let me tell you now, this is NOT a reflection of our awesome money-saving, penny-pinching abilities. We walked into adoption with $42 in our bank account. This has been through a lot of hard work, a lot of supportive people, a lot of great resources, and a lot of prayer.

So, is this even possible? Just because we are doing it, can you? YES!!!

Here are a few of the biggest things that have helped us along the way, that I thought I’d pass on to anyone out there who, like myself, worries, frets, or looses sleep over adoption costs.

1. Get Committed!

No, not psych ward committed. (Although there are days where I feel that is a valid option). Make the commitment with your partner or support network that you are going to go forward debt-free. These days, there are a lot of options out there like Adoption Loans or Credit Card deals that make that “safe” option appealing. And sometimes, it is necessary. But, if you can commit to it from the beginning, having that accountability is clutch when you get those phone calls that tell you that you have an unknown $7,000 adoption bill that needs to be paid in 4 weeks.

2. Get the book “Adopt Without Debt” by Julie Gumm

After our “commitment”, a great friend of mine suggested this book to me. And it is AMAZING!! It kind of makes you feel like you can take over the world, which you sometimes need to feel when you are walking through the adoption process. She has TONS of great resources and ideas for fundraisers, grants, and resources. It took me all of like 1 hour to read (which is saying a lot). It is well worth the $12 on Amazon.

3. Get Connected!

Probably the #1 greatest thing that you can do during your adoption process is to get connected. Connect with other adoptive families, your friends and family, your church body, your yoga class, whoever! It is totally your family’s discretion as to how much you choose to share or not share about your adoption. Some people are willing to be far more open than others, and that is fine. But start off knowing that you can’t do it alone. And you shouldn’t do it alone. Adoption is a hard journey and the more people you allow into your journey, the more arms and hands you have to hold you up when you are miles down the road and exhausted!

We have found one of the most effective ways to do this is through our blog. It has been an incredible resource not just for us to connect with others, but for others to join our journey! If you aren’t “tech-savy”, ask someone who is to get you set up. That is the hardest part.

But really…just yesterday I asked Erik how to search for directions on Googlemaps. So, if I can, you can.

If you don’t feel like that is your family’s cup-o-tea, set up a group email and keep your friends and family updated. It is surprising how many people really DO want to know how the process is going! And if your family is anything like mine, not updating them will just beckon multiple phone calls on the daily.

4. Get Creative!

There are probably a billion and one things that you can do to raise money for your adoption. The book I mentioned earlier is a great tool for that. But sometimes, you have to be willing to think outside of the box to bring attention to those things. We have done several handfuls of fundraisers and found that making videos to grab people’s attention has been one of the biggest tools in helping us raise money! Peeps LOVE their media, and as soon as we started making small video updates, people started sharing, new people joined the cause, and fundraising became even more fun and more successful!

5. Get to Workin!

Fundraising and Debt-Free adoption is hard work. It doesn’t come just by sitting around clickin’ buttons. I have taken on several freelance jobs, as well as started up an entire photography business to help support our adoption. We don’t expect to sit around and just wait for people to pour out money on us or “make it rain” as the young folks would say. But I have found that even in my extra jobs, people have supported above and beyond what they have needed to give. They want to get behind us and help us bring our children home. So even just talking about our adoption on a photo shoot or when I’m working with clients has opened up the doors to new and more business.

I realize that not everyone has time for extra jobs. But you can always make it work around what you can and can’t do (i.e. offering to watch somone’s kids a couple times a week for pay if you are a stay-at-home-mom, doing yard work for your neighbors on weekends if you work during the week, helping someone set up a blog if you are a tech-kind-person). Basically think, “How would I make money if I was in high school again?” Even those little amounts of extra cash are useful for Homestudy doctor’s appointments or fingerprints!

6. Get Granted!

Grants are amazing! We’ve have be awarded grants with several places – anywhere from $500-$5,000. There are a ton of great Grants that can be applied for (Show Hope, Abba Fund, God’s Grace, Lifesong, etc.) and all it takes is a little bit of time and a stamped envelope. Most Grant applications ask the same questions, so you can even cut down on time by typing out your answers and recycling them through each application. We made a date night out of it one evening and powered through a few applications. It was basically like a 2 for 1 deal! Nothing more romantic than a glass of wine and an essay about your desire to adopt.

7. Get to Prayin’.

The whole adoption journey is really a big faith journey. I whole-heartedly believe that adoption is biblical and a reflection of the heart of God. Invite Him to be at the center of your journey and keep Him at the front of everything you do. So even when it is really hard, we’ve stopped looking at the dollar sign in front of us and started focusing of Christ before us. He is basically like the most hardcore warrior ever and I’ve come to learn quickly that He doesn’t loose. Keeping every part of this journey covered in prayer keeps your perspective in the right place.

Ok. Wow. That is so much info.

But here is the deal. I’ve learned to take a giant dose of humility when it comes to adoption.

1.     It’s about more than just me. It is about an orphaned child becoming a part of a family.

2.     I can’t do it alone. We’ve had to depend of more people than I probably would have ever thought or hoped to.

3.     You have to ask for help. (That is a hard one for me.)

4.     God is in control. (Even harder for me…I’m a huge control freak.)

Someone asked Erik one time if we ever get tired of asking for money. (Quite a bold question if you ask me.) He is kind of a rockstar and responded with this…

“If your child was half-way across the world and you were trying to get them home, wouldn’t you do whatever it takes?”

Will you?

So if you, or anyone you know, have ever been scared off by the dollar signs or multiple zeros tossed around in the adoption conversation, know this…

It is more than possible. It is necessary.

Take it from a commoner. 

Because of you...

Because of God's people doing unthinkable things...

Rallying around us in ways that we could have never imagined....

Standing up for us when we felt weak, overwhelmed, and defeated...

Because you said yes to making a difference...

Thank you.

Thank you for your generosity.

Love.

Encouragements.

For everything.

This is what happened.

And IS happening.

Because of you.

Fathers and DAY 7.

4 years ago, I was sitting in church.
I felt a tap on my leg and looked over to my husband handing me a folded up piece of paper.

The question had been, "In what big ways do you want God to move through you and your family?"

I'm pretty sure at that point, my answer was God putting a Jimmy John's Sandwich Shop down the street from my house so I could use that as a ministry spot and eat all the lettuce wrap Italian sandwiches I wanted.

Erik clearly was on a different level.

I looked down at the piece of paper and to my amazement, written in golf size pew pencil was one word:

Adoption.

Before any doctor's appointments, before any conversations, before any "results"... God had placed in his heart the desire to become a dad through adoption.

So I don't think it is ironic today that our Give1Save1 week is ending on Father's Day.

He makes all things beautiful in his time.

So today as we wrap up a week of ridiculous, amazing, and unbelievable blessing, let's do it in honor of all the dads out there, who hope, dream, fight, cry, passionately love, and care for their kids...

For Erik. A Dad who has loved every step of the way, even before we knew what we were getting into.

We've got $1,800 more to go. If every friend of ours on Facebook gave $2 today, we would surpass this. So let's do it. Share, post, tweet, instagram...

Let's blow the socks off of this fundraiser in honor of Dad.

Give1Save1 Day 6 and another AWESOME FREE GIVEAWAY!!

So, for real peeps. When we said you all were awesome, we weren't joking.

And due to your overwhelming support and love, we made it WAY past $4000!!

As another way of thanking you all and another encouragement for getting the word out we have decided to giveaway...

An Erik Anderson original "many faces of Erik" 12-month calendar complete with themed season pictures! He mentioned something about Uggs.

(Ok, he literally said he would disown me if I didn't write that.)


But, for real...we actually do have something for you and I think you will love it! Because I do!!! And it is not just amazing, but it is for an amazing cause too!!

So, first person to write "You hit $5,000!" (when we hit $5,000) gets this:

This INCREDIBLE Arrow Necklace is from an INCREDIBLE company called "Story Company." They do amazing work to empower people all over the world to use their skills and creativity to make sustainable business and change! Check them out HERE for more information on all of the great things they do and the awesome products they help to provide! (Even if you DON'T win this necklace, you should just go buy it...or buy everything on this site because you will be obsessed!)

And then GO! Go like the wind and share our link!! Lets make this happen! Two Days left, people!!! WAHOO!!!